You do not need to face these challenges alone. At Silberman Law Group, we have the experience to help you advocate for your parental rights. Call (312) 593-0075 to schedule a free consultation.
What Can Be Used Against You in a Child Custody Case?
Many things can be used against parents in custody battles. Custody decisions focus on the best interests of the child. Anything that goes against these best interests could be used against you.
False Accusations Against the Other Parent
False accusations hurt your credibility, and the other parent may say you are deceitful and manipulative. The court also does not like that false accusations divert from the focus of custody proceedings, which are about the best interests of the child.
However, sometimes accusations are not false. They are true, but due to a lack of evidence or other reasons, they come across as false. This makes a custody battle even more frustrating and stressful when you are painted as a liar. It can be part of what happens when your spouse won’t sign divorce papers or seems determined to make the process as combative as possible.
Parental Alienation
Making constant negative comments about the other parent, limiting the children’s access and contact to the other parent, and making children feel guilty for wanting to spend time with the other parent are some examples of what constitutes parental alienation. Courts see this behavior as emotionally abusive and not in the child’s best interests. Courts prefer to see parents prioritizing the child’s mental and emotional health above the parents’ personal grievances.
Unreasonable Refusal to Cooperate in Co-Parenting
Co-parenting can increase the odds of a stable environment for the child. If a parent is being unreasonable about co-parenting, the court may see this behavior as belligerent and selfish.
Mental Health Issues
In Illinois, about 32.4% of adults report anxiety or depressive symptoms with an unmet need for counseling or therapy. Untreated mental health issues are part of what can be used against you in a custody battle. The other parent may use these issues to say you are a risk to the child’s emotional health and safety.
Being proactive about treatment bolsters your case, shows self-awareness, and highlights a commitment to your health for your children’s sake.
If your mental health has been good for many years, but your ex is bringing up past instances, you may need to show stability and management. Documentation of treatment, including therapy sessions, medications, and professional evaluations, should show proactive management of your mental health. It also shows dedication to a healthy environment for your children.
Drug or Alcohol Abuse
Substance abuse can make other people worry about your ability to provide a safe environment for the child. It can also raise concerns about your judgment and reliability. Being in treatment is helpful.
If the substance abuse is many years in your past, it might have minimal effect or no effect. Much depends on whether you have shown consistent stability and responsibility since then. Documentation such as references from counselors and logs of attending support groups can also reduce or eliminate the impact of issues from years ago being used against you.
Criminal Convictions
Convictions for drug offenses, DUIs, child endangerment, domestic violence, and other offenses can cast doubt on your ability to parent. However, it is possible to show that you have grown since your convictions and are committed to responsible parenting. More recent convictions are likely to give you more trouble than convictions from longer ago, but the nature and severity of the offense matter, too.
Domestic Violence
A history of domestic violence is a serious issue. Courts see it as a direct threat to the child.
Neglect
The other parent may say you are neglectful and not capable of meeting the child’s needs. For example, parents may leave children alone unsupervised for long times and in possibly dangerous settings. Parents might ignore a child’s medical needs or not give the child sufficiently nutritious food. Neglect can be physical, educational, and supervisory.
Strategies for Addressing Challenges in Glencoe, IL, Child Custody Cases
There are many options for addressing what can be used against you in a custody battle.
Professional Evaluation
Mental health or substance abuse evaluations may help in cases of false allegations. For example, if your ex is falsely saying you are using drugs, a professional evaluation offers an unbiased, third-party assessment.
Documentation and Evidence
Courts in Illinois take allegations seriously but do require evidence. If the other party is saying you have mental health, substance abuse, or domestic violence issues, he or she needs to provide evidence.
You can counter these allegations or reduce their impact with your own evidence such as medical records, testimony from mental health professionals, and proof of rehabilitation. For example, records showing drug test results, medications, and therapy may show you are making strides toward improvement.
In cases of false allegations, witness statements and proof of your activities during a certain time period may also refute these allegations. A lawyer can help you gather these documents and evidence.
Social Media
Be very careful about your social media use. Words and photos can easily be taken out of context. Even if your privacy settings are high, assume that anything you post can make its way into the other party’s hands. It may be better to stay off social media altogether.
Stability
Living a stable and sober life cuts down on what can be used against you in a custody battle.
Counseling
The best evidence for child custody is showing that you prioritize the children’s interests. If you think you have been alienating your children against their other parent, unreasonably refusing to co-parent, or making false accusations against the other parent, counseling may be helpful. It could show the court that you recognize the children’s best interests and want to better meet their needs.
Mediation
Going to court can be stressful. Mediation may give you and the other party an opportunity to customize a settlement agreement that benefits everyone. The focus is on working together, not on what can be used against you in a custody battle.
Support Resources
A support network is invaluable during divorce and custody battles. This can especially be the case if you are also dealing with false allegations, substance problems, or other issues.
Calmness
Custody battles tend to evoke feelings that are anything but calm. However, if you lash out, whether in private with your ex, in court, or in another type of setting, this could hurt you. Try to stay as calm as possible as you deal with what is being used against you.
When You Need to Hire a Divorce Lawyer
Try to work with a child custody lawyer as early as possible. For instance, if your ex is known to make false allegations, hiring a lawyer can help you prepare for that possibility. If you are caught off guard and scramble for a lawyer, you may not react as promptly or as thoroughly as you could have otherwise. That said, it is never too late to hire a lawyer. It is a good idea to get one when something is being used against you in a custody battle.
Understanding the timeline of a contested divorce may clarify the value of getting a lawyer as early as possible. Contested divorces can last months or years and add considerable mental, emotional, and financial strain. If children are involved, they may directly and indirectly feel these negative effects, too. Bringing a lawyer in early may end up saving a lot of effort, stress, time, and money.
Your lawyer can help show your involvement in your child’s life and positive steps you are taking to correct issues. Also, if you are doing mediation or negotiation, your lawyer can work on getting an agreement that protects your relationship with your child.
If your custody battle goes to trial, your lawyer can represent you by presenting arguments and evidence such as school records, medical records and statements from teachers and caregivers that show your role in your child’s life. Your lawyer can also help you get ready for court appearances and cross-examinations.
At Silberman Law Group, we have a long record of success in divorce cases, custody battles, and other family law matters. We focus on honest, reliable legal advice and successful, sustainable outcomes. Contact us as soon as possible to discuss your case.
