Six divorce strategies could make a huge difference in the outcome of your split, especially if it is a high-conflict divorce. One strategy is to gather as much financial information as possible, both about your situation and that of your spouse. Being informed lets you identify priorities, address urgent matters quickly, and negotiate from a good position.
Also important is to work with divorce lawyers who understand Illinois family law. Experienced attorneys can help with property division, child custody, spousal support, and much more. Call Silberman Law Group at (312) 593-0075 to talk about your case.
Top Divorce Strategies to Increase Your Chances of Success
Splitting up can be stressful. Being mindful of divorce strategies can keep you focused and help with an equitable outcome.
1. Gather As Much Financial Information As Possible
While divorce is, understandably, emotional for many people, it often comes down to numbers. This is true even if children, one of the most emotional parts of a divorce, are in the picture. For example, child support and how many days the children have with each parent are top factors.
Having as much financial information as possible empowers you when it comes to child support, child custody, assets, debts, income, expenses, and more. You can speak and negotiate from a position of knowledge. Even if the finances seem to be in bad shape, it is better to know that than be in the dark. Financial knowledge also helps you plan better for the divorce and your life after the proceedings are complete.
- Assets and debts: Gather statements from bank accounts, retirement and investment accounts, mortgages, credit card accounts, car loans, and other loans. If you believe assets are yours alone, or your spouse’s alone, make note of that. You should also note if you think ownership of an asset might be disproportionate, as might happen if you owned a house before the marriage that your spouse has invested money into maintaining.
- Income and expenses: Pay stubs, business earnings, tax returns, monthly bills, and similar documentation help you get a grasp of your cash flow.
- Future financial needs: What do you think your financial needs would be after the divorce? Will you have enough on which to live?
This paperwork can help you run child support calculations and determine if one of the spouses should ask for spousal support and how much would be fair for the other to pay.
Also, about 1.3 million small businesses operate in Illinois. If you or your spouse has a business, no matter how “small,” you need as much information on it as you can get. The business’ income and debts can make a difference in the divorce, and ownership may not be as simple as a 100/0 or 50/50 split.
High-conflict divorces, those that seem headed for trial, often involve discovery processes. Your early prep work should help streamline the process of exchanging financial affidavits.
2. Document Everything
Documenting communications with your spouse, as well as all financial transactions, child-related expenses, and other occurrences, can come in handy during a divorce. For example, accurate records may serve as valuable evidence in custody disagreements and offer a fair picture of expenses.
Unfortunately, not enough people document. They may trust their ex too much, thinking the goodwill that currently exists will last. Or they are too tired or stressed to document things.
It is better to be safe. When possible, document what you can. Much of the information you need could be electronic, which helps. If you had a fight in person last month in which your spouse made threats, try using other records such as a text conversation with a friend earlier the same day to pinpoint the exact date of the fight and approximate time. Write down what happened during the fight to the best of your memory.
3. Take Care of Urgent Items Right Away
One winning strategy is to address important topics right away. That way, they are not hanging over the rest of the proceedings and cannot come in to “surprise” anyone later. Common examples of urgent items during many divorces include:
- Lawyer consultations
- Temporary child custody and temporary alimony
- Living arrangements and living expenses until the divorce is finalized
- Safety concerns if domestic violence, substance abuse, or other risks are involved
One thing to consider is whether to do a legal separation before the divorce or even instead of a divorce. Understanding legal separation can be tricky, but this option could be appropriate in some cases when the couples are not quite ready to divorce or just do not want to divorce.
4. Focus on Collaboration, and Swallow Your Pride If Necessary
Resentment, anger, guilt, pride, or even happiness can cause a person’s divorce settlement strategies to go awry. Try to make decisions based on logic rather than emotion. For example, a spouse who feels guilty for multiple reasons might make unfair concessions to his or spouse, perhaps to the children’s detriment.
Focus on practical solutions rather than “ideal” solutions that may be out of reach or plain unfair. One thing that might help is to keep the bigger, longer-term picture in mind. A stable future and giving your children a good future with both parents as involved as possible usually are more important than coming out on top after every argument and spending vast sums of money just to “win.”
When can you get alimony in divorce? This question prompts disagreement in many splits. Spouses often do not see eye-to-eye on alimony when divorce proceedings begin. The higher-earning spouse may resent the other for even asking for money and feel that the spouse should be able to support himself or herself.
Meanwhile, the lower-earning spouse may have a legitimate request based on decisions the spouses made together, but perhaps have overestimated the other spouse’s financial resources. If both spouses remain open-minded and willing to see the other’s perspective, there could be hope for a beneficial resolution. There is more that goes into how spousal support is calculated than some people realize.
Your lawyer can help clarify if you are being unreasonably unfair on some issues, and which issues could be worth standing your ground. A focus on collaboration goes only so far if your spouse is uncooperative, stubborn, or manipulative. If someone’s mindset is “how to win a divorce,” it may need fine-tuning. You typically can get more of what you want by being open to compromise versus trying to win everything.
5. Prioritize the Children
Divorce can be rough on children, with misguided parents making matters worse. Courts in Glencoe and the rest of Illinois make decisions based on the children’s best interests. Usually, these best interests mean having both parents be as involved as possible in the children’s lives, with some exceptions for domestic violence and other situations.
One thing is to encourage a healthy relationship between your children and your spouse. Another is to avoid bad talk about your spouse in front of your children. This does not mean you have to do things such as lie to your children and paint a chronically absent parent as attentive. It means try not to unnecessarily disparage a parent in front of the children.
Be factual, and validate children’s feelings, whether good or bad, about their other parent. Avoid bad-mouthing the other parent for the sake of bad-mouthing. Courts frown upon this, it hurts your chances of custody, and it damages children mentally and emotionally in several ways.
6. Seek Support
High-conflict divorces can be draining. Even many low-conflict, uncontested divorces are, too. Being proactive about building a support network can work wonders. If you have trusted friends and family members, lean on them during the divorce. Counselors, support groups, and new hobbies are other resources.
Focus on work-life balance and a divorce-regular life balance. As much as possible, eat well, exercise, and get enough sleep.
Why a Divorce Lawyer Is Essential for a Successful Outcome in Glencoe
A seventh divorce strategy for success is to hire a divorce lawyer. Lawyers can help with all six areas above, for example, offering advice on how to calculate child support, handle asset division, and create parenting plans.
If your divorce is high-conflict, strong legal representation ensures that your spouse does not take advantage of you. Similarly, lawyers make sure that your emotions are not taking advantage of you. Your divorce lawyer offers objective advice that lets you make informed decisions.
Your lawyer checks that you have gotten all the financial documentation you can and that your spouse is being fair in disclosing his or her documentation. Lawyers can work with financial professionals to try to uncover a spouse who is hiding marital assets and get you what is rightfully yours.
Silberman Law Group has helped clients navigate many types of divorces. Contact us today.
